Puas yog Ballpark Puas Ua Rau Lawv "Caug" Cancer?

Curt Schilling, tus ntaus pob loj hauv lub koom haum, thiab raug nplua zoo, tshaj tawm lub lim tiam dhau los tias nws tau kuaj mob qog noj ntshav. Nws tsis tau hais meej tias nws muaj tus kab mob zoo li cas, tab sis nws tau thov kom peb khaws nws thiab nws tsev neeg hauv peb txoj kev xav thiab thov Vajtswv.

Kuv yuav ua li ntawd. Kuv muaj kev hlub tshwj xeeb rau nws.Curt pitched rau kuv pab neeg, Philadelphia Phillies, hauv '90s thiab nws tau pab txhawb nws qhov kev hais lus zoo ib yam rau cov pab pawg sib tham hauv internet uas kuv khiav rau Phillies. Curt kuj tau sau ib tsab ntawv npog rau phau ntawv nyuaj ntawm kuv phau ntawv ntaus pob ntaus pob me, Me Me Hauv Nroog Heroes, uas kuv tau ua tsaug ntau. Tag nrho txhua qhov, Curt tau pab nyiaj txaus rau kuv lub neej yog li kuv tab tom nqa qee lub zog ntxiv los cia siab tias nws ntaus nws tus mob qog noj ntshav thiab nws tsev neeg pom lub zog thiab hlub kom thev dhau qhov ua ntej ntawm lawv.

Qhov ntawd yog keeb kwm yav dhau. Tam sim no ntawm no yog vim li cas qhov no yog Caveman Logic kab lus hauv Psychology Niaj hnub no. Hauv chav tham txog Curt qhov kev kuaj mob, ib ntawm peb cov tswv cuab sib tham tau ceeb toom peb tias qee tus tswvcuab ntawm Phillies nyob rau lub sijhawm ntawd thiab ua ntej tseem tau kuaj mob qog noj ntshav. Lawv suav nrog ntes Darren Daulton; thawj baseman thiab tshaj tawm John Kruk; neeg uas ua ntawv/tus kws qhia/tus thawj coj John Vukovich; pitcher Tug McGraw; player/coach/manager Johnny Oates. Tsis ntev los no, Hall of Famer Mike Schmidt, tej zaum qhov zoo tshaj Phillie txhua lub sijhawm, tau nthuav tawm cov ntaub ntawv hais txog "tus mob tsis qhia tawm." Puas yog? Qhov ntawd yog Phillies ntau thiab mob qog noj ntshav ntau, qee qhov (Vukovich, McGraw thiab Oates) twb tau tuag lawm. Yuav ua li cas? Puas muaj qee yam txog kev ua si rau Phillies? Ua si hauv Veteran's Stadium thaum lub sijhawm ntawd? Puas muaj qee yam hauv lub plab ntawm lub qhov quav uas ua rau ib tus mob qog noj ntshav?

Coob leej ntawm peb ntawm Phillies cov lus sib tham khawb peb lub taub hau thiab xav tsis thoob. Nws xav tsis thoob. Puas yog peb paub dab tsi txog mob qog noj ntshav? Plainly, tsis txaus. Tsuas yog yam peb paub txog cov khoom siv tsim los tsim Vet? Tsis muaj dab tsi. Ex-Phillie Larry Bowa cov ntsiab lus rau cov yeeb nkab nthuav tawm lossis Astroturf raws li qhov ua tau.

Yam khoom tsis zoo lossis cov kab hluav taws xob siab lossis leej twg paub tias hom carcinogen twg tuaj yeem nyob hauv lub plab ntawm lub tsev ntawd? Tsis yog cov lus txaus ntshai? Txhua lub sijhawm koj tau txais "carcinogen" thiab "bowels" hauv tib kab lus, koj paub tias koj yuav mus rau lwm tus mloog. Kwv yees li tsib caug lab tus kiv cua tau them nyiaj los saib Phillies ua si nyob rau lub sijhawm ntawd, ntau ntawm lawv rov ua cov neeg siv khoom. Puas yog lawv puas tsuaj? Yuav ua li cas txog cov neeg uas ua haujlwm nyob ntawd txhua hnub? Cov neeg ua haujlwm hauv av? Cov neeg uas ntxuav lub clubhouse, txhuam cov chav dej, muag kub dev thiab npias? Ntawd yog cov neeg raug tsim txom ntau.

Wb nres qhov no. Kuv txhob txwm ua nws kom ua rau qee qhov kev ntshai thiab ntshai uas nyob hauv peb feem ntau ntawm cov lus pom tias qee yam txaus ntshai uas peb tsis nkag siab tiag yog xoob hauv peb ib puag ncig. Ib tus neeg muaj koob npe (hauv qhov no, Curt Schilling) tau raug mob los ntawm nws. Qhov ntawd coj nws los rau peb mloog. Tej zaum peb nyob tom ntej! Puas yog kuv tsis pom Phillies ua si ib tav su rov qab rau hauv '90s? Tej zaum kuv yuav tau nws ib yam! Qhov no tsis yog nyob deb ntawm thaj chaw uas tau muab pov tseg los ntawm cov khw muag khoom tabloids, nrog lawv qhov kev tsis txaus ntseeg txog tsoomfwv kev koom tes. Xov tooj ntawm tes ua rau mob hlwb! Kev txhaj tshuaj tiv thaiv menyuam yaus ua rau muaj kev puas hlwb! Kuv tus vaj tswv! Peb txhua tus yuav tuag!

Qhov teeb meem tsis yog khw muag khoom tabloids lossis bloggers ruam. Qhov teeb meem yog peb lub siab (Nov yog qhov ntsaws rau kuv phau ntawv, Caveman Logic los rau hauv, thiab tsis yog lub sijhawm sai sai!) Peb yuav tsum pom los ntawm qhov tsis muaj tseeb, qhov tsis yog-logic, tab sis peb tsis ua. Peb poob txoj cai mus rau hauv cov cuab ntxiab los ntawm peb Pleistocene Hnub Nyoog siab. Nyeem Caveman Logic. Tiag! Yog tias koj tsis xav nyeem kuv phau ntawv, nrhiav ib phau ntawm cov phau ntawv zoo sib xws uas qhia koj txhua qhov kev dawb huv uas koj lees txais vim tias lwm tus nyob ib puag ncig koj ntseeg nws, thiab vim tias nws tau ntim los ntawm txhua qhov tsis zoo hauv koj lub paj hlwb Pleistocene. . Cia li ua pa tob tob. Nqis peev ob peb ntxiv calories rau hauv kev xav kom meej thiab tej zaum koj yuav pom tias qhov uas tau muab yog feem ntau dawb huv crapola.

Kuv nquag nug, "Yog li koj xav tias ua li cas rau qhov no? Yog tias nws tsis yog qee cov kab hluav taws xob tiv thaiv kab mob siab lossis asbestos rwb thaiv tsev faus tob, tsis pom, koj xav tias nws yog dab tsi, Mr. Smartie ris? Mister fancy University xibfwb? Mr. tus sau? Koj ntse heev. Koj qhia peb! ”

Thiab kuv cov lus teb rau cov lus nug no yog hais tias, "Ua ntej peb sim piav qhia nws, cia peb paub tseeb tias muaj" nws "los piav. Ib tus neeg yuav tsum tau kos cov lus 15 lo lus rau ntawm lub ntsiav tshuaj ntawm qhov chaw thiab muab tso rau hauv YouTube qhov twg, peb tsuas tuaj yeem cia siab, nws yuav kis mus.

Ib tus tswv cuab ntawm Phillies cov lus sib tham, uas ua haujlwm rau New York Lub Tsev Haujlwm Saib Xyuas Kev Noj Qab Haus Huv, tau hais khov kho (Kuv yuav hais qhov no meej, txawm hais tias kuv yuav tuav nws lub npe tsuas yog nws tuaj yeem ua rau nws txaj muag), "Ua tus kws kis mob hnyav, Kuv yuav hais tias nws yuav yog qhov xwm txheej. Peb cuam tshuam nrog "pawg" zoo li no txhua lub sijhawm, thiab lawv feem ntau tsis nthuav tawm raws li muaj ib puag ncig lossis kev ua haujlwm txuas. "

Tau nws? Nws hais tias tej zaum yuav tsis muaj "nws" los piav qhia. Tsis muaj lav, tau kawg. Yeej tsis muaj. Tab sis raws li cov pov thawj uas twb muaj lawm, nws zoo li tsis zoo li. Thiab, yog tias koj tsis tau pom dua, Kuv tsis ua qhov kev cia siab ntawm no, ib qho twg, uas yog txhawm rau txhawb kev ntshai/kev koom tes mus rau cov ncauj lus no. Khiav, txhua tus! Tsoomfwv tau khaws cov ntaub ntawv tseem ceeb los ntawm peb uas peb xav tau kom muaj txoj sia nyob! Nov yog qhov tshwm sim tiag tiag. Koj yuav tsis nyeem nws nyob lwm qhov. Nyob nrog kuv thiab kuv yuav tiv thaiv koj.

Nkag siab, qhov ntawd yog qhov uas koj lub siab mus thiab txhua yam uas hais rau nws tau txais ua ntej. Panic ua tej yam lom zem rau kev xav. Txawm tias tsis muaj kev ntshai, tib neeg cov laj thawj tseem nyob deb ntawm qhov txaus ntshai. Qhov xwm txheej tam sim no, tsis txhob txwm ua los ntawm Curt Schilling qhov kev kuaj mob, yog rooj plaub hauv nqe lus. Nws suab zoo li qhov muag tsis pom qhov muag yog qhov nws yuav siv kom muaj sia nyob. Tab sis hloov chaw ntawm kev pub mis rau koj qhov kev ntshai thiab kev xav tsis meej, Kuv tab tom tham zoo li tus kws paub txog kab mob kis tau zoo. Kuv hais qhia tias qhov sib txawv ntawm cov mob qog noj ntshav "pawg" no tshwm sim los ntawm qhov xwm txheej ntau dua li koj xav. Tej zaum tsis muaj laj thawj rau tswb.

Vim tias koj nyuaj-xaim kom muaj sia nyob, koj xav tias, "Muaj feem? Ntuj raug txim! Yog tias muaj ib lub caij nyoog ntawm qhov no yog qhov tseeb, Kuv yuav tawm ntawm no. Muaj kev nyab xeeb zoo dua thov txim. Kuv yuav saib xyuas dab tsi yog tias kuv ua raws li kev ntseeg cuav. Hom I yuam kev. Qhov Tsis Zoo Deluded zoo dua tuag!

Yog li, yog, koj xav tias pawg ntawd tiag tiag nyob ntawd. Txhua qhov mob qog noj ntshav tau tshwm sim ua ke dhau qhov xwm txheej, thiab lawv tau tshwm sim rau REASON. Lub ntuj raug txim nrog Caveman Logic. Cia peb xam seb cov kev pheej hmoo ntawd yog dab tsi thiab lawv yuav cuam tshuam li cas rau ME. Kuv puas tau koom nrog kev ua si ntawm Vet? Kuv puas tau noj tus dev kub nyob ntawd? Kuv puas tau siv ib qho ntawm cov chav dej no? Kuv puas tau caij hauv lub elevator? Kuv puas nqa khoom plig tuaj tsev? Tej zaum kuv yuav tsum mus ntsib kws kho mob. Yog tias nws tshwm sim rau Curt, nws tuaj yeem tshwm sim rau kuv. Lub ntuj raug txim nrog kev ua tsis raug logic thiab qhov tsis zoo. Kuv yuav tsum tau ciaj sia!

Punchline: Ua pa tob tob. Tshem koj daim ntaub loos thiab tso koj lub ris rov qab. Tsa koj lub qhov tsua thiab rov qab mus rau qhov siab. Nws yog qhov zoo los siv qhov tsis ntev los no, qhov ntse ntawm lub siab zoo uas koj tau txais koob hmoov nrog. Koj tsis tas yuav yog lub Hnub Nyoog Pleistocene txhawm rau kom muaj sia nyob. Ua siab ncaj. Nws yog qhov xav tau, tsis yog kom khiav. Thiab thaum koj nyob ntawm nws, mus nyeem Caveman Logic .

Khab nias:

Caveman Logic , sau los ntawm Hank Davis, luam tawm los ntawm Prometheus Books, 2009.

Heroes Hauv Nroog Me Me: Duab ntawm Pab Pawg Me Me Baseball , sau los ntawm Hank Davis, luam tawm los ntawm University Iowa Press, 1997. Luam tawm los ntawm Bison Books, 2003.

"Ex-Phillies xav tsis thoob yog chaw ncaws pob yog tias yuav liam rau cov neeg mob qog noj ntshav lub hlwb." Los ntawm Randy Miller, hauv Tebchaws Asmeskas Kev Ua Si Hnub No, Lub Xya Hli 22, 2013.